


gettin' laid

by TheGrimLlama



Series: supercorp trash team compilation [18]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, I don't know if this is technically classed as smut, based loosely on an episode of the bold type, but its definitely something, healthy discussion about sexual experiences and issues is important guys/gals/nbpals, probably trash, that episode, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 14:19:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18075017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGrimLlama/pseuds/TheGrimLlama
Summary: Kara has an obscure new work assignment.  Lena's never had an orgasm.  Alex is perpetually horrified and Sam just hasn't stopped laughing for WEEKS.-Or, Lena agrees to help Kara with her work assignment, but it's Kara who actually lends a helping hand.“If we’re getting technical it was only three fingers. Crisis averted, I’m Supergirl…”





	gettin' laid

 

Girls nights were often Lena’s favourite night of the fortnight. Ruby was off staying with a friend, which meant Sam and Alex were comfortable cracking open a bottle of scotch and staying up late, much to the amusement of Kara. 

 

They were sprawled across the heated stone floor of Lena’s living room, the natural gas fireplace adding a soft, homey glow to the room. A bottle of alien alcohol was being passed between Sam and Kara, they’d forgone the glasses because Sam had already shattered two of them. 

“I still can’t believe Snapper shunted me to the  _ feminine advice _ column. I was literally carrying a train on my shoulders! It’s not like I was just missing the staff meeting because he’s a jerk…”

“He didn’t know that, Kara.”

Kara pointed the neck of the bottle at Lena. “You did though. Thanks for sticking up for me…”

Lena snorted and downed the last of her wine, “Half the editorial staff think we’re fucking already. I’m not going to show favouritism in that kind of environment.”

Alex frowned, “That’s gross.” 

“We all do it, Alex. Lena and Kara are consenting adults…”

“Sam! We don’t… We’re not…!”

“You’re fired, Sam.”

Kara rested her head on Lena’s knee, “Thanks babe.”

“You honestly wonder where these rumours start? Oh my god.”

Alex nudged Sam lightly, “Leave them be.”

“What do I even write about for a feminine advice column…?”

 

“Sex.”

 

The answer was simultaneous, throw the other three women into a fit of laughter.

“I am not even human? Sex is different for me than it is for you guys.”

 

This seemed to peak interest in two members of the group, while Alex poured a large glass of wine. “Gross.”

“Wait… Now I’m curious.”

 

Sam snorted, “No shit.”

 

Lena glared.

 

“Why don’t I just write  _ An alien gal’s guide to safe sex with your human. _ ”

“Oh my god! Joseph Leidermen!” Alex laughed, nearly spilling her drink on Sam.

“ALEX!”

 

Sam steadied Alex, “Wait… Who or what is Joseph Leidermen?”

 

Kara groaned and buried her face into a cushion on Lena’s lap, “No no no no no… Can we not talk about my sexual failings right now?”

“Oh come on Kara! I feel like Alex should really tell us the whole story.”

Lena rolled her eyes and tossed a spare cushion at Sam. “That would be an amazing anonymous addition to the paper, Kara. It would really open up a new, inclusive aspect to CatCo.”

“Lena, stop being a nerd for five seconds, I wanna hear how Kara broke some dude’s nose with her face…”

“Wasn’t her face...” Alex said, knocking back the last of her wine.

Sam laughed unashamedly, at least Lena had the decency to attempt to hide her chuckle behind her glass.

 

“The best part was listening to her try and explain to Mom at the hospital, why she was bringing poor Joseph to have his nose reset at one am while Kara was supposed to be having a sleepover with me and Rachel Townsend…”

Sam’s laughs slowed, “Aw, Kara…”

“I didn’t have sex for three years after that. I was terrified. And even now it’s always in the back of my head. Humans are fragile.”

Sam patted Kara’s arm a few times, realising that a subject change was needed. “Why not a guide to new toys on the market. We’ll help you with research, that way you have alien and human data…”

Kara cringed, “Four data points is not conclusive enough....”

“Three.” Lena had barely whispered the word, but it cut through the room like a shout. Kara noticed the blush in Lena’s cheeks travelling down her neck. “It’s not that I don’t want to help…”

“Hey, you don’t have to…”

“I can’t… I’ve never…”

Sam cringed, “You’re telling us that you’ve never had an orgasm, right? That’s what’s happening right now…”

Lena groaned, “Yes, Samantha, that’s exactly what I’m getting at. I have never had an orgasm. I’ve tried, but I can’t.”

“No wonder you’re so uptight…” Kara swung a cushion at Alex’s face.

“We’re going to fix this.”

Lena snorted at Kara’s words, “Are you gonna give me a helping hand, Supergirl?”

Kara glared, “You know what I mean. This is my article. If we can’t make it work, at least we can normalise this experience for women, like Lena, who struggle…”

“That’s actually genius, Kara,” Alex said. “So where do you start…?”

“Well, I start by asking Lena if she’s okay with it and then…”

 

There was a moment, everyone turned toward Lena, who was staring at the fireplace as if the flames were somehow going to save her from the embarrassment on her face. 

 

“Sure whatever, just leave my name out…”

 

Kara clapped her hands together, “Yes! Okay, I have a story. So first we’ll need to book you an appointment with your gyno, just to rule out any medical issues…”

Lena frowned, “There is nothing wrong with my vagina.”

“It’s just to cover bases, okay? Your vagina is beautiful.”

Alex choked on her drink, “Excuse me?”

Kara sighed, “All vaginas are beautiful, Alex.”

“That’s gay, Kara.”

  
  


***   
  


Loretta Wallace was not what Lena was expecting when she arrived at the large house in the northern suburb. In all fairness, Lena wasn’t really sure what to expect. She’d never even heard of a sex therapist until Dr Lopez referred her. Now here she was, on the doorstep of a beautifully maintained house, with Kara rubbing soothing circles into the side of her waist. 

“We could just turn around and say we’ve got the wrong house… reschedule?” Kara whispered, feeling the tension in her friends back. 

“No. I said I was going to help you and if this is going to help, then I am going in there and…”

The door swung open revealing a short woman, her face surrounded by a mass of red curls, “Hi! You must be Lena. I’m Doctor Wallace. Come on in, sweetie, your partner is encouraged to join us as well.”

Lena and Kara turned to each other, eyes widening as they both tried to correct the doctors assumption. 

“Oh! We’re not…!”

“I’m not her…”

“Friends.”

 

Loretta raised a dark eyebrow at the two of them, “I’m not judging. Us girls have to stick together. You’re an amazing friend for being emotional support for this kind of issue....”

Kara noticed that the doctor was leading her to an introduction, “Oh! Yeah, Kara… I’m Kara.”

 

***

 

It was almost like being in a regular therapists office, Lena notice. A long, comfortable looking couch lined the back wall, a book large library shelf behind the desk was peppered with medical journals and psychology books, along with a scale models of the reproductive systems, an artistically painted vulva, and several adult toys placed at odd intervals. 

Lena felt herself blushing, but kept her poker face on as Loretta talked her through reasons why she might be lacking in certain areas, while Kara’s pen scratched loudly across the lined pages of her notebook. 

 

“All in all, you need to learn to be more comfortable and accepting of yourself, Lena. So I’ll give you this…” She placed a small box on the counter, “This will help you build and tone those muscles that you’re not really using all that often. You can use it alone, or with a partner…”

Lena coughed as Dr Wallace’s eyes shot toward Kara for a split second, before opening the box and revealing a deep green stone. It wasn’t too big, perfectly smoothed into an egg shape.

“And what exactly am I supposed to do with that…”

“You just insert it into the…”

“Yeah, no! That’s not really my thing…”

 

Doctor Wallace rolled her eyes and pushed the box towards Kara, “You don’t have to use it, but I highly recommend giving it a go. Kara, make sure she takes this with her on the way out.”

 

***

 

Three days.

 

The box kept moving. Which meant Kara was sneaking into her penthouse (using her emergency key), and placing it in different locations. Always visible to Lena as she was getting ready for the day. 

 

This time, however, the box was on her kitchen counter, and had a potsticker shaped sticky note attached to it, with one word written in Kara’s scratchy cursive.

 

Chicken.

 

Lena picked up her phone and opened snapchat. This was a blatant stab at her ego. She was no chicken. What could possibly go wrong? She had the day off and all she had planned was brunch with the girls in two hours. Plenty of time.

 

She lifted the egg from its case and snapped a selfie. _Better get cracking._

 

It took less than ten seconds for Kara’s reply. 

 

_ That was terrible. _

Lena smirked. _It was eggcellent._

 

***

 

Lena’s initial assessment was that it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was heavy. Of course it was heavy, she had a rock inside her vagina. But it was honestly nothing to complain about, especially since all she’d been doing all morning was scrolling through her favourite online physics publication and sending Kara stupid snapchats containing just about every egg pun known to man(and alien)kind.

 

She was glad Kara goaded her into trying it. Even if it was just for the opportunity to murder Kara with puns. 

 

The alarm on her phone rang, signalling an hour until she was supposed to meet Alex, Sam and Kara at their favourite smoothie bar two blocks over. 

 

She’d have a quick shower, remove the egg and be on her way. No problem, right?

 

Lena really needed to learn when to keep those affirmations to herself. 

 

She tried. She really did. It was only after the third attempt at removing the egg (and subsequently losing it completely) that she really began to panic. 

 

She shut off the shower, wrapping herself in a silk robe, because there was only one person she could possibly think of calling right now. 

 

“Kara?”

 

Kara’s voice was watery, meaning she was probably high in the clouds somewhere over the city, “Hey! You sound stressed… What’s going on?”

 

Lena took a deep breath, “It’s stuck.”

 

Kara snorted, “Let me guess, you need me to EGGStract it for you?”

 

“It’s not a joke! The egg is fucking stuck and I can’t feel it anywhere?”

There was silence on Kara's end, "You're serious?"

"Why would I joke about this? What do I do?" Lena started pacing the her bedroom, trying to jog her brain back to rationality. 

"Call Sam? Call Dr Lopez?"

"Dr Lopez is in the Bahamas with her husbands. Sam will lose her mind, probably in public. The press would have an absolute field day if they got hold of this..."

"Lena, I kinda am the press," there was a soft rap on Lena's balcony door, before Kara stepped through. 

"Shut the fuck up and please help me get this thing out of me..."

 

Lena leaned into Kara's arms, "Relax. We've got like 45 minutes. And I have handy xray vision..."

She chuckled awkwardly at Kara's reassurance, "I can't believe you're gonna xray my vagina..."

Kara snorted, "Certainly not the way I imagined I'd see it for the first time..."

"Not the time for jokes, Kara... Where do you want me?"

Kara coughed slightly, "Would the bed be too awkward? Should we use the couch? Actually, bed is probably going to be more comfortable. We need towels?"

Lena raised an eyebrow, "What exactly are you planning on doing in there, Miss Danvers?"

Kara rolled her eyes, "Gotta be prepared."

She passed Lena, heading into the hallway, presumably for towels. 

 

What the fuck is happening? 

 

Lena sat on the edge of the bed, slightly humoured by the situation but still apprehensive. Of course this would happen to her. Kara reentered the room and tossed the towels at Lena, she must have washed her hands out there as well. Kara stripped the duvet off the bed and bundled it onto the stool in front of her vanity, pausing as it hit the rug with a muffled thud.

 

The offended glare Lena gave it was severely disproportionate to the fact that it could be picked up in less than a second. She looked up at Kara, “This stays between you and me, Supes.”

“Pfft, duh.” 

Lena positioned herself on the bed, propping herself up on some pillows, trying to reassure herself, and calm her racing heart. This was not the way she’d imagined ending up in bed with Kara. “Okay. I trust you.”

“I should hope so, considering the amount of times I’ve saved your life,” Kara chuckled. Clearly, Kara was just as nervous as Lena. Her face was flushed and she was looking everywhere except for at Lena. She kneeled on the bed next to Lena, focusing her x-ray vision on Lena’s abdomen. “I can’t look..”

Lena huffed, “What do you think is down there? Tentacles?” 

Kara blushed, looking up at the ceiling,”Okay. Fine. I’m looking… Okay, I… wow.” 

The few seconds of Kara silently staring was broken by Lena trying to ask what Kara was talking about, but honestly it mostly came out as an awkward squeak. 

Kara met Lena’s worried gaze, “It’s right up in there. And I doubt you’ll be able to angle your hand enough.” 

“I know that, it’s why I called for help, Kara… Okay, if I kneel that should help right?”

Kara shrugged, “Just whatever’s comfortable. I’ve got long fingers so…” 

 

The awkwardness doubled, Kara’s face bright red as she helped Lena up into a more optimal position, “Here, lean on my shoulders.” 

 

Of course Kara was just trying to be helpful, but the second Lena rested her arms on Kara’s shoulders, she had to tuck her face down. There was no way she could even look at Kara’s face right now. “Can we maybe just…”

“Go fishing?”

“Kara, please.”

Lena definitely felt the beginning of guilt bubbling away in her gut as her body responded to Kara’s probing. She probably shouldn’t be aroused by the sight of Kara parting her robe, or the way Kara’s fingers caressed her gently before they slowly made their way inside. Little did Lena know, they were both equally into it, and both silently wishing that this wasn’t about retrieving the stupid stone egg. 

It only took a few seconds before Kara almost had hold of the egg, her fingers pressing against Lena so as not to lose it. “It’s fine I can feel it…” Lena gasped, clutching her fingers into Kara’s hair as heat shot through her body.  “Are you okay?”

Lena couldn’t speak, her mouth was dry and she couldn’t trust her vocal capabilities at the moment… Not with the amount of pleasure coursing unintentionally throughout her body.

Unfortunately, nothing is always that easy. Kara’s earpiece began to signal an incoming call, “Aw fudge. Can you press the comm into my ear?”

Lena froze, Kara’s fingers shifting slightly, making her tense, “Are you serious, Kara?”

“It’s Alex! It could be important and my hands are kinda preoccupied.”

Lena sighed and pressed the device to Kara’s ear. 

Sam and I are on our way up to Lena’s for brunch, you in…?

Kara’s fingers slipped, her palm pressing firmly while she attempted to maneuver the egg out. Lena’s hand slipped from Kara’s hair and tightened around her arm, a long hissing breath forcing its way out. If Lena had any semblance of thought left, she’d probably wonder whether she actually could be close to… where she wanted to be at that point in time.  “In where..? I’m not in anywhere…?”

Lena chuckled into Kara’s neck, she certainly was in something.

_Why are you being weird? In for lunch you dweeb_ …

Finally, Kara managed to slip the egg out onto her hand, eliciting a surprised (yet slightly disappointed) squeak from Lena, “Got it!”

“Oh thank God.” 

_ You’re with Lena already? _

They both froze, “Uh yeah, gotta go, bye…”

“Want me to…?” Lena motioned at Kara’s ear, offering to turn the piece off. 

“Yeah.” Kara waited a few seconds, and then relaxed, lifting the stone up, “I can’t believe I just had my hand in your vagina…”

_ What the fuck, Kara? _

Kara’s eyes widened comically, “You pressed the wrong button…”

“Fuck.”

 

***

 

Alex had stormed through the doorway of Lena’s penthouse, closely followed by Sam, who clearly found something hilarious.

“Now, before we decide on food, I think we’d all like to know why Kara had her hands in your lady parts…”

“Hand! It was one hand,” Lena sighed.

“If we’re getting technical it was only three fingers. Crisis averted, I’m Supergirl…”

“Jesus Christ, Kara stop…” Poor Alex’s face looked like it was never going to return to its natural colour. Sam was now doubled over Lena’s couch, her laughter almost silent. 

“It’s not… We weren’t…”

Lena placed a hand on Kara’s shoulder, “I went to a sex therapist for Kara’s article. She gave me a yoni egg and I got it stuck. Kara had to…”

“Give you a hand?” Sam snorted.

“Can we just go and eat…?” Alex begged, she glanced at Kara. “Wash your hands.”

Kara huffed, “Excuse me, I did.”

 

***

 

Kara had done a lot of thinking over the last seven hours since she’d left the girls at lunch. Two Supergirl jobs and outlining an article in between, barely left room.  Thankfully, Kara had more than enough brainpower to continue overthinking her afternoon at Lena’s. She needed to apologise. Sure, Lena may not have noticed, but Kara did and she really needed to clear the air. It was nearing 8pm, the lights were still on at Lena’s office, so Kara figured that would be her first stop.  

She landed softly on the balcony, boots barely scuffing the tiles as she moved toward the open doors. “Lena?”

Her friend slammed the lid of her laptop shut and looked up. A slightly guilty look on her face, “Kara, what can I do for you this evening?”

“You could start by telling me why you’re still working?”

Lena rolled her eyes, “I just finished my last agenda item and I am a free woman. Next question.”

“I have to talk to you… I’ve just… something has been really weighing on my conscience today and I need to apologise.”

Lena laughed, “I also have an apology of my own. Wanna head back to mine with Thai? I have a bottle of that Valerian mead that you like in my fridge.”

Kara held her arms out, “Where on Earth did you get your hands on Valerian mead, Miss Luthor?”

She stepped forward, one arm wrapping around Kara’s neck, waiting for her feet to leave the ground. “A lady never tells, Miss Danvers.”

 

***

“So…”

“So.”

Kara reached for the glass of mead that Lena had just poured, “I need to clear the air.”

Lena sighed, “I’m sorry about today…”

“So am I.  You needed help and I took advantage of that situation for my own selfish purposes.”

Lena froze, glass of wine halfway to her lips. “Selfish? Kara, I put you in the most awkward position imaginable and then enjoyed it? And you’re the selfish one?”

“Wait… You enjoyed it too?”

Lena place the glass down, “What do you mean, too?”

“Uh…? I kinda… I feel like, I might have… maybe… Like I was sort of aroused by the situation, which was totally out of line…”

“Clearly not, considering having your fingers inside of me is the closest I’ve ever gotten to an actual orgasm, and you weren’t even trying.”

Kara sat up straighter, “You nearly…?  Really?”

Lena blushed into her glass, “Yeah, it’s not a big deal.  I felt bad. Now that I know you were being a creep too…”   
“Hey!” She laughed and caught the pillow Kara flipped at her. “And here I was about to offer my magic hands up to see if they actually could finish you off…”

“Oh, that is such a generous and noble gift, Miss Danvers.”

“It would honestly be a shame, not to fully research the possibility.  There’s an article on the line.”

“Well, if it’s for research I’m sure we can come to some kind of arrangement.” 

  
  
  


****

  
  


**Well guys… I’m leaving it here, because I have to psych myself up to write the next part.  Honestly, I’m not great at the whole smut stuff so… Use your imaginations (for now)**

 

**Sorry I’ve been MIA.  Lots going on in the Grim household, what with 2 new diagnoses and subsequent appointments, the addition of an extra (long distance) parental figure and the fact that I crashed my car and am now drowning in debt *finger guns***

 

**The Battling Bard has been trying to keep me on task.  Things are hard, but we’ll get through it.**

 

**Screech at me on tumblr @thegrimllama or just here in the comments, because I know you all hate it when I leave things open ended.**

 


End file.
